10 Creepy Toys That Will Even Make Your Inner Child Cry Horrible Tears

One look at these creepy AF toys and you'll crap your pants. Or, you know, run for the hills!

Posted on: June 29, 2017

10 Creepy Toys That Will Even Make Your Inner Child Cry Horrible Tears

Toys can be cute and even funny. Most of them will even become our best friends through some of the most difficult years of our childhood. But others are so creepy that it will traumatize the hell out of you for life. Here are 10 scary toys that seemingly crawled out from the very pits of hell.

THE HOMICIDAL JOLLY CHIMP

The Homicidal Jolly Chimp Flickr

It reared its ugly head in the 50s and again in the 70s and all we can is that this thing is truly terrifying. You know, for a chimp named jolly he sure looks awfully mad and homicidal too.

WHAT’S UP SKINNY BONES?

What's Up Skinny Bones? Pinterest

Great! Just what kids need these days, another spokesperson for eating disorders. What happened to the rest of him? It’s like he came out of the stuff nightmares are made of.

SHAVE THAT BABY

Shave That Baby National Buffoon

Polish artist Zbigniew Libera only made ten of these ginger dolls, thank God! These things literally had hair growing out of their butts and every other orifice you could think of. Who’d want to give their kids a doll that needed some serious waxing? I don’t know but damn, now I want one!

IN MEMORY OF THE HOLOCAUST

In Memory Of The Holocaust Fun01

Anne Frank is probably turning in her grave at the thought of Lego creating a concentration camp that kids could build. Wouldn’t it have been easier to just make a set of a castle or a city instead of this reminder of a dark chapter in humanity? All joking aside, this is 99% most likely fake.

BLOW YOUR BRAINS OUT

Blow Your Brains Out Flickr

If your kids have ever wanted to play Russian Roulette but in a way that was safe, then they definitely needed the Kaba Kick, and some therapy, because pretending to blow your brains out is so much fun.

THE MAN OF 1,000 FACES

The Man Of 1,000 Faces Laughing Squid

Whatever happened to Mr. Potato Head? We’re guessing this was an attempt to give kids a soulless master of disguise to prepare them for their future life of crime when they’d need to disguise themselves from the law.

FACE BANK LEAVES YOU BROKE

Face Bank Leaves You Broke Emily Reviews

Your parents spent all that time convincing you that monsters weren’t real. Then they give you this Face Bank that thinks of cash and coins as a Happy Meal, and now you’ll never be able to sleep again.

PUCKER UP

Pucker Up Flickr

Those wax lips are downright scary. They look like a botched up lip injection procedure or someone who tried out the Kylie Jenner challenge. What the hell is a child supposed to do with these puffy geysers of silicone?

FURBY WITH A SOUL

Furby With A Soul Pinterest

Not since the fictional Chucky doll has anything been this creepy. The more you interacted with Furby, the more it spoke back to you which is pretty amazing for an 80s toys, but it might have been possessed by something that was hungry for children’s souls.

IS THERE A DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE?

Is There A Doctor In The House? Fat Brain Toys

Erwin, The Little Patient allowed kids to unzip his stuffed-felt flesh and yank out its individual internal organs one by one. This was great for aspiring surgeons or cannibalistic serial killers.