Once you step into the shower, you mind tendS to wander. You might even say it’s your way of keeping yourself entertained while you wash yourself. After all, it’s not like you can scroll through social media or watch TV. But in the process of keeping your mind occupied, your thoughts tend to go down a weird path. A really, really weird path!
WHY DOES MY BODY LOOK STRANGE?
In the shower, you only have a weird bird’s eye view of yourself. So, it’s only natural that you’d become self-conscious about your body. But all you can do is chill, enjoy your shower, and be confident in the knowledge that no matter what body type you have, you’re awesome!
HOW DO PEOPLE HAVE SHOWER SEX WITHOUT SERIOUS INJURIES?
Doing it in the shower looks simple on television or in movies. But in reality, you start to imagine all the things that could go wrong when you’re with someone. For starters, there’s no room, the floor’s slippery, and there are so many things in the way, it feels like an obstacle course.
IS THERE A MURDERER LURKING BEHIND THE SHOWER CURTAIN?
You can thank Hitchcock’s “Psycho” for this one. Now women, and a few men, are too afraid to turn their backs to the shower curtain because they’re afraid that Norman Bates will show up in his mother’s clothes and scare them to death… literally!
WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF I SLIP AND FALL?
It’s not only the elderly that worry about this. If you’re home alone, it’s easy to get scared about slipping in the shower, hitting your head and not being found for hours, or even days. Well, if you weren’t worried about it before, you will be now! Just in case take some precautions like having your phone nearby and get a non-slip shower mat.
WHAT IF THERE’S A OUTAGE?
There’s nothing worse than being stuck in the shower, your hair full of shampoo, and then the lights go out. Don’t you dare think about the possibility that someone’s cut the power so they can come and get you. Just keep a flashlight nearby, or your phone, with its torchlight, so you can light up the joint ASAP if this happens.
WHAT IF THE FLOOR COLLAPSES?
Seriously, don’t you got better things to worry about? What are the odds that the floor would collapse beneath you? Unless your bathroom is right smack in the middle of the San Andreas fault, you’ll probably outlive everyone you know.
DID I LOCK THE FRONT DOOR?
Once you’ve had this thought, there’s just no going back. Say goodbye to that relaxing shower, and say hello to obsessing over every detail since you last walked in through the front door. In the end, you’ll wind up walking out of the shower, dripping wet, and risk slipping on the puddle you made, just to confirm the door was locked.
THIS RAZOR IS SAFE TO USE … RIGHT?
Your legs look like you’re Chewbacca’s daughter, but you picked up the nearest razor and it’s brown with rust. Do you use it anyway? Well, that depends. When was the last time you had your tetanus shot? On second thought, maybe you should wear long pants until you buy yourself a new razor.
SHOULD I AUDITION FOR THE VOICE?
Don’t judge your singing ability by your shower skills! Singing sounds way better in the shower because of the acoustics. It makes your voice sound deeper and nicer than it actually is. Enjoy the moment, but unless you sound good out of the shower too, don’t take your singing elsewhere!
WHAT CAN I USE AS A WEAPON?
Your paranoia is at the maximum limit, and you’re convinced someone has just broken in. Now you’re looking around the shower, and even sticking your head out of the curtain, to contemplate whether those tweezers will put an end to your imaginary attacker. If not, what else can you use?