The Kardashians, Nikki Minaj and Jennifer Lopez make us proud of our big butts. But even women as famous as them can’t get through a day without facing at least one of these challenges! Whether it’s online shopping or dressing up for a night out, these things that should be easy are made ten times harder when you’ve got it going on in the back kitchen!
YOU HAVE TO BEND DOWN WEIRD
Especially when you’re wearing a dress. Picking something up with your bum in the air just draws way too much attention. You’ve learnt to resort to bending at the knees, and doing your best ballerina impression.
IT LOOKED LIKE A DRESS ONLINE
But when you try it on at home it looks more like a top on you! Why can’t these online stores have some models with big booties, so we can see what clothes really look like?
JEANS DON’T LAST…
You finally find the perfect pair of jeans, and in a matter of weeks holes start to appear. Before you know it, it’s time to go shopping again! Hey, it’s not you, it’s the jeans! You’ve just got too much butt for that denim to handle!
…SO YOU SPEND HALF YOUR LIFE TRYING THEM ON
Because picking up the first pair of jeans you see, and expecting them to fit is like waiting for Santa to visit on Christmas Eve. I’m sorry girl, but it ain’t gonna happen.
FORGET FINDING SHORTS THAT FIT
Girls with big butts know that it’s basically impossible to get a pair of shorts that fits both your butt and your waist right. There’s just so much excess denim, and really no way to style this weird look out.
YOU WISH YOU COULD WIN THE LOTTERY
So you could afford your very own clothes designer. It’s the only way you’re ever going to get a dress that fits both your top and bottom halves. That’s why Kim K, Jennifer Lopez and Nikki Minaj always look so damn good. They can afford it!
AT LEAST BIKINIS COME IN TWO PARTS
Because when you’ve got a booty you can be proud of, buying a bikini top and bottoms in the same size is nothing more than a pipe dream. And don’t even consider an all-in-one swimsuit unless you want a permanent wedgie.
YOUR BUM CRACK IS BASICALLY FAMOUS
And who wants that? You know it’s time to invest in a belt, because those jeans are just going to keep on slipping down. Seriously, you need to do what you can to avoid the whole plumber’s butt look. It’s never going to be cool.
YOU SPEND MORE TIME PULLING DOWN YOUR SKIRT
Than doing shots at the bar when you’re on a night out with the girls. You can’t even take two steps without your skirt riding up, never mind busting out all of your best moves. I bet Kim Kardashian has someone to do this job for her!
JUST SAY NO
To shiny fabrics like silk pants, or leggings that are way too tight and translucent in public. It doesn’t matter how sure you are that your top covers your booty and no one’s going to see your butt today, somehow it’s always got a sneaky way of revealing itself.