If you thought that going to the supermarket was a simple old, boring task, think again! Between poorly written signs and bizarre products that make you go “WTF?” , you’ll come out so confused, you’d probably forgot to buy the few essentials you needed so urgently.
DAMN YOU, AUTOCORRECT!
Don’t buy those industrialized, manufactured products anymore. Why not go for some non-GMO, free-range herpes straight from the farm to your plate?
YOU’RE GOING BACK WITH THEM
Your kids are going back to school, do it’s time to deal with bad grades, flopped exams and incomplete homework. Since you’re going back to school with them, and to those pesky PTA meetings, it’s safe to say you’re going to need all the liquor you can get.
THEY GO THE EXTRA MILE… OR DAYS.
That’s correct, 9 days a week, 29 hours per day. Actually, these signs can be found on the “99 Cents Only Stores.” It’s a play on the number 9, but it does make you wonder if they’re actual geniuses or someone totally effed this up.
THEY DON’T TASTE TOO GOOD
These muffins cater to a very specific subset of society, the so-called butt-munchers. It’s a good thing that they’re so cheap, only 3 bucks for a 4-pack. To bad they taste a bit funny.
GEE, WHAT A DEAL!
Let’s see, if we buy three and get nothing free, how about I buy none, and you get zero cash? They must think consumers are dumber by the minute.
NO, FOR REAL, WE’RE OUT OF PRETZELS
“The ones you see on that counter and on the display are not pretzels. No, seriously. What are they, you ask? You really don’t want to know.”
HYPHENATED FOR YOUR PLEASURE
A special product for people with special needs. No wonder we like them so much.
CHOCKED FULL OF CONSERVANTS
Best before April 2303? Either this is a typo or this product goes straight to my emergency bunker. Don’t tell me I’m not prepared, I can outlast any nuclear disaster and still have food 200 years later!
GET YOUR CATS HERE!
Just look at that little fella’s face when he found out that right after the photo was taken, he was heading for the chopper. These canned cat products are as convenient as they are horrific.
I’M SHOCKED AND APPALLED!
This supermarket’s idea of what kids need makes me sick. They dedicate a whole section for wieners, but where’s the “Produce For Kids” section, huh? Some of them want to eat healthy too, you know!