Ah, young love is exciting and full of promise. Nothing exists outside of you, your partner, and your adoration for each other. You know you’re both annoyingly cute, and you want it to stay this way forever. Now you feel ready to take the next step, and want to take your relationship to the next level. Hmm, no, not marriage, but kind of in the same ball park. Before you two become super serious and decide you want to “do it”, there are a lot of things you need to know so you can do it smart.
KNOW THE RISKS
You love each other, but even love can’t keep you safe from everything. Especially unwanted health problems. Read up about the possible health risks and how to prevent them. Sit down with your partner and have a totally honest conversation. REALLY. HONEST. CONVOS. Learn each other’s histories and plan how you’re going to do it safely.
IGNORE PEER PRESSURE
No matter how badly you want to take the next step with your SO, if your inner voice is cautioning you to wait, then you need to listen and ignore whatever everyone else says. Trust your instincts. You want to feel that you had control and were 100% comfortable with your decision, and you made it with a clear mind and no pressure. No one will die if you hold off for a later time. If anything, your respect for yourself and him will only grow.
MAKE THE CHOICE THAT’S RIGHT FOR YOU
I know it takes two to tango, but it’s okay to be selfish and consider how it’s going to affect Y-O-U. Don’t worry about them, they’ve got their own thoughts and feelings to deal with. You just think about if you’re ready for such as huge step. Evaluate why you want to get serious, how it might change your relationship, and if you’re ready for the changes.
ARE YOU TRULY SERIOUS?
Okay, there’s love and then there’s deep, “OMG I’m totally committed” kind of love. The first kind of love feels a little shaky because you’re young and let’s face it, naive! If you’re planing on doing it, better decide if you want it to be just an event, something you did with someone in the name of pleasure, or something you want to happen with a person you love. It’s YOUR decision.
TALK TO YOUR FRIENDS
Who doesn’t need their friends, especially at such a monumental time in your life? Okay, so sex isn’t SUCH A BIG DEAL. For some! You have the right to take it super serious if you want to. Talk about it. Get your friends’ advice, learn from their experiences, talk it out. You might want to wait a little, or get it on tonight!
LEARN ABOUT BIRTH CONTROL
Hum hello? The most important part of the whole process is to know you’ll be protected. Talk to your doctor about the different types of birth control available, what kind is best suited for you, and how to properly use it. You don’t want to find yourself in an undesirable situation nine months down the road or fighting off an infection or STD. OUCH!
NOT LIKE THE MOVIES
Oh, if only life were like the movies where everyone gets to live happily ever. Sorry to break it to you, hon, but you can’t rely on movies to give you a realistic depiction of what your first time will be like. Stay realistic and you won’t be disappointed, and will be able to treasure the moment for what it is.
IT MIGHT GET A LITTLE AWKWARD
It might even get a LOT awkward. Be prepared to feel physical discomfort and a ton of awkwardness in the beginning. There might be some awkwardness during, and after, too! It’s just normal to twist and turn into this super awkwardfest we call “the first time”. That’s totally normal, though.
THERE’S MORE WAITING FOR YOU
As a couple, you and your SO have taken a huge step together. Maybe now you feel like you’ve done it all and can get comfortable. That’s not true. Being intimate is just the tip of the iceberg. There are amazing experiences, fascinating people, and wonderful moments just waiting for you out there. Don’t look down and settle in, look ahead confidently and face the future.
YOU WON’T GROW UP OVERNIGHT
Going all the way with your partner may be next-level stuff, but it certainly doesn’t make you an adult. Be grateful for that because adulthood IS SOOO NOT what it’s cracked up to be! Leave adulting for later!